Mon
AM. Lucia just asked me to write an article on HRT. The cheek! I used to get asked to write about the joys of giant willies, since when have I been demoted to Blue Rinse Affairs correspondent?
PM. Time to get my finger out and start focusing on my scriptwriting career again before I find myself being transferred to Crochet Weekly. To do: come up with a concept for an exciting new show and become a global millionaire in the style of Simon Cowell with several fingers in many yummy pies. But first, I have a sudden and inexplicable craving for cherry tart.
Tuesday
AM. Okay, after spending yesterday gathering the appropriate stationery for my project, I need to decide on genre. I’m thinking comedy with a bit of music, perhaps set against the back drop of an alien invasion. Two female characters; one a rookie cop and the other an old has-been on the verge of retirement who moonlights as an Aretha Franklin impersonator, kinda like Lethal Weapon meets Mama Mia. ‘Lethal Mama’, I like it!
PM. Spent the entire lunchbreak listening to Queen Julian blathering on about some new TV show called Glee. He reckons it’s scriptwriting genius. Chaaa! Like, just because he’s gay he thinks he knows everything about anything that looks remotely… gay.
Wednesday
AM. Happened to be watching TV last night when Glee came on. What’s all the fuss? It’s only mildly witty and entertaining. There was nothing better on so I struggled through three more episodes over various different channels.
PM. Now Eimear and Heather are blathering on about Glee. Christ, it’s not that good; in fact I could have written it in my feckin’ sleep. Wait until they see the televisual genius that is ‘Lethal Mama’ on their screens.
Thursday
AM. The more I think about Glee, the more I think that if I hadn’t have been so busy these last few years then I might actually have written it myself. In fact I’m thinking that I may approach the creators and sue them for plagiarism, because really it’s the idea that I would have had if I had have been more proactive… a bit like Gavin and Stacey, or the Harry Potter books.
PM. Consulted Robert in Admin who is studying for a law degree and he reckons that I wouldn’t have a leg to stand on with the whole suing the producers of Glee idea. Yeah, well what about the kids from Fame? I bet they’re not too happy about the whole thing; we could join forces. You can’t just put music and high school together and then say; ‘ooh, aren’t we clever and original,’ when you’re not actually.
Friday
AM. Spent the afternoon trying to make contact with Debbie Allen who played Lydia in Fame, her no-nonsense get up and go approach is just what my case needs.
PM. No joy with getting in touch with Debbie, but have decided will plough ahead with research in the style of Erin Brockovich. So, just bought season one on DVD. Have cancelled all plans to spend the entire weekend watching it so I can prepare my files. It’s a dirty job…
